i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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