only if we run a train.
done.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
