I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
