drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize