just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
