what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
