I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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