As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
