We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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