wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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