it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
