Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
