Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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