I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
