I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
