I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
