the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
