fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
