Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
