So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
