4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
