Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
