Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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