Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
