Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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