my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
