White coat. Heels.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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