so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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