Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
