Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
