Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
