I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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