M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think your dad took our porno
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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