you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
