Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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