YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
