2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
