Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
