The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
