I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
