girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
