Non-Jews are for practice
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
