I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
