you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
