Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
