so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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