Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just pee around me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
