dude i'm inner monologue high
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
