you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
