what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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