My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
