theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
